The Body Remembers the Way Home

20 Oct

A Little More Love,
A Little More Listening

For me, it was always easy to know what I wanted.

I had a whole list of things in my head, and sometimes written down. But I think I never really thought about them on a deeper level.

So life halted me. It whispered to me and, sometimes, forcefully asked me:

What is it that you really want?

At first, I thought they were things I needed to find outside of myself.

But slowly, I began to understand that many of those things already existed within me. They live close to my most authentic self.
But hurt, sadness, conditioning and the experiences we move through can sometimes disconnect us from her.

And yes, I felt disconnected. But disconnected from what?

I began to understand that being connected to myself also meant being connected to the joy, pleasure, richness and experience of life.

So that became my intention. I asked for guidance on how to connect more to myself. But I do not think I fully comprehended what I was asking for.

Then, one Friday night, an intuitive thought came to me:

How can you connect to the energy of authenticity if you have not even connected to your body?

I was honestly shocked.

Because in that moment, I realised something that felt so simple, yet so profound. I began to understand that, for me, connecting with my authentic self meant connecting with my body first. It meant to:

Accept her.
Cherish her.
Love her.
Care for her.
Listen to her

Because the body holds energy.

The body holds emotion.

The body holds memory.

And most importantly, the body holds life.

I really had to sit with this one.

Because, to me, it made so much sense, but I had never approached it like that before.
If my authentic self chose this life, this body, this story and this bloodline, how could I continue rejecting parts of the very experience I was asking to become more connected to?

If my mind is constantly rejecting , the emotions, the story or the human experience, how can I fully access my most authentic self?

So I began to see the body as the gateway.
And honestly, I think this has been one of the softest and most honest revelations of my journey so far.

So learning to accept my body is learning to appreciate what it is doing instead of constantly focusing on what I perceive as flaws.

Cherishing my body is becoming more mindful of what I feed it, what I place on it, who has access to it, the clothes I wear, the products I use and the environments I expose it to. Taking care of what I consume. Becoming curious about what my body actually needs instead of only asking what I want it to look like.

I am learning that reconnecting with my body can also be:

Listening.
Resting.
Movement.
Allowing energy and expression to flow through me.

Sometimes it is simply stopping and saying:

Thank you.
Thank you for carrying me.
Thank you for breathing.
Thank you for moving.
Thank you for staying with me.

For me, reconnecting with my body means intentionally creating a relationship with my body where care becomes the foundation.

Not punishment. Not criticism.

It sounds beautiful, right? But at times, I did not know what to do. I had never learned how to listen to my body or how to interpret what it was telling me. And, as always, I asked for help.

There are also two books that have supported me while moving through these realisations.

IF women Rose Rooted explores Celtic spirituality, but the message that stayed with me goes much deeper than one spiritual tradition. It speaks about women returning to our nature, our power, our sovereignty and our bodies.
The second is What Was Planted Here Before I Came. For me, this is one of the most meaningful books when it comes to understanding what existed before we arrived. The structures, experiences and inherited patterns that shape us, how we move through them, how we heal and how we slowly become a more aligned version of ourselves.

And now, as I look at the journey ahead of me, I realise that this next chapter requires love. And compassion.

As I look at the journey ahead of me, I want to intentionally create the most loving relationship I can with my body. And allow myself to fully experience the life she is carrying.

Maybe coming home to ourselves is not always about becoming someone new. Maybe sometimes the body already remembers the way.

We just have to become quiet enough to listen.

I am grateful for this realisation.

And I thank life and my body for continuing to guide me home.

Signed with love,

Abigail

Books Mentioned in This Post: